Loneliness

The greatest disease in the West today is not TB or leprosy; it is being unwanted, unloved, and uncared for. We can cure physical diseases with medicine, but the only cure for loneliness, despair and hopelessness is love. There are many in the world who are dying for a piece of bread but there are many more dying for a little love. The poverty in the West is a different kind of poverty -- it is not only a poverty of loneliness but also of spirituality. There's a hunger for love, as there is a hunger for God. – Mother Theresa, A Simple Path p.79

I cannot shake this quote from my head. This Fourth of July weekend I spent a couple of hours visiting an elderly couple who are members of my church. A man named Harry and his wife Ellen. I am not sure exactly what is wrong with Harry, perhaps it is only old age, but he cannot walk by himself. He has a walker with wheels that he uses to help him move around. He cannot be left alone because he might fall and injure himself or not be able to stand back up. Ellen moves around just fine and likes to get out and go places, but she very seldom gets the chance because she has to watch Harry.

I told her that I would come over and spend some time with Harry so she could get out and run some errands. I had a good time. Harry and I talked about some minor things and then we turned on the TV and watched This Old House. When Ellen came back from running some errands, we had some pineapple cake. It was good stuff.

One of the errands that Ellen did while she was out was to go by the bookstore and pick out some new books for her to read. I asked her if she liked to read and her response was, ‘yeah, it passes the time and takes my mind off of other things.’ My heart broke when she said that. Harry would probably be best off in an assisted living facility, but Ellen is nowhere near that state and I cannot imagine her sending him to a place apart from her. Ellen has a daughter and she visits every now and then, but they could definitely use more attention. Harry has children that live in Tennessee but he said he never sees them. His grandchildren are my age and they are off and about busy making their own lives.

So Harry and Ellen, in the midst of a big city, live in a world of loneliness. How many people are dying to have somebody to talk to, somebody to spend time with, somebody to listen and care and somebody to just be there? I imagine there are many. I do not claim to do well. My grandmother does all right, but I do not call her near enough. Perhaps once a month I have contact with her. Shame on me.

Perhaps the greatest disease is not loneliness it is selfishness or worse yet, independence. The idea that I can live totally separated from the world around me and be just fine causes me to forget that others need me. Independence, selfishness, busyness, become detrimental to my soul and to the lives of others.